


Bug Party

by blissfall



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: 5 year old steven, Gen, Post-Episode: s06e20 The Future, Rain, Swearing, anxiety attack, steven says f
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 03:14:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28611153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blissfall/pseuds/blissfall
Summary: Steven Universe used to like rain.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 27





	Bug Party

5-year-old Steven awoke to the sound of tapping against the roof of the van. It had been a long day of working on the house, but they had to cut it short due to the rain. Steven insisted on continuing, that it would be fine. But, of course, Greg argued and told him they didn’t want to get all wet and soggy before bed. Steven sighed, but complied with his Dad and opted to watch the rain from the back of the van until he fell asleep. 

The sound of the rain reminded him of little footsteps, like maybe if he looked outside he’d find a thousand little bugs having a party on top of the van and they would invite him, too. He wondered what a bug party would look like. Maybe they’d have different dances, he’d seen the ones on TV and thought they looked funky. Steven’s curls brushed against his Dad’s chest as he stood up, gazing out the window at the pitter-patter of raindrops falling into the sand. 

His eyes practically turned into stars at the sight, it was almost soothing in a way. Each drop beat down on the sand, sending some flying in different directions. A leaf on the ground was filled with water, almost like a reverse boat. Another drop fell into the leaf, overflowing it and making it spill over.

Steven felt a hand on his shoulder and turned around to find his Dad sloppily supporting himself up with his arm as he rubbed at his eyes. 

“Hey Stu-ball, what’re you doing up so late?” Greg’s eyebrow lifted in curiosity. 

“Watchin’ the rain.” Steven whispered. He turned back around to glance once more out of the window of the van. Greg smiled, leaning closer to get a good look outside. 

“Come on, kiddo. We can look at the rain later. It’s bedtime.” Greg scooped little Steven into his arms as Steven let out a bubbly giggle. His Dad set him down beside him as he laid down on the crusty mattress. Steven paid attention to the rain once more, each drop beating down the side of the van. He continued to watch the window despite being folded under Greg’s arm. “Night, Steven,” Dad said, “Hey, we can get the Big Donut in the morning. How’s that sound?”

Steven lit up, moving in his Dad’s arms to look up at him, “YES! I’ll getta strawberry one,” he shouted. Greg laughed at his response, moving into a more comfortable position to sleep in. 

“Alright, alright, Stu-ball. Let’s get some sleep.” With that, Greg shut his eyes. Steven relished in the silence he was given, now having nothing stopping him from listening to the little tiny footsteps that were jumping around outside. Maybe tomorrow his Dad would let him play in the puddles! It was like a mini ocean minus all the yucky stuff at the bottom. Steven smiled to himself, pondering the possibilities that he and his Dad could partake in tomorrow. The rain poured. Steven fought with his eyelids to stay awake, but unfortunately, the sounds he found so soothing were now forcing him to fall asleep. He opened his eyes once more to get one last glance at the rain muddying up the sandy beach through the window until he inevitably shut his eyes in slumber. 

* * *

Steven walked in the muddying rain back to his car, having just come from the 7-Eleven nearby. He decided against putting the hood of his jacket up to cover his hair because he was just going to get wet anyway, so he kept walking through the rain despite being soaking wet. His car stood a little ways away in the parking lot on the other side of the gas-station-convenience-store fusion.

Steven groaned at his predicament, deciding on whether to run and possibly slip on the way to the Dondai or use his shield. He decided to go with the former option, knowing he decided against using his powers on his trip (It was against his own rules that he set before heading off which Connie looked over and happily approved).

Steven continued walking in the rain, his jacket soaked in so much water he may as well have been just swimming in the ocean fully-clothed. His flip flops smacked against the pavement on his way down the parking-lot, barely holding on with the rain making him slip on his own shoes every few seconds. 

Upon reaching his car, Steven threw his wet plastic bag full of orange soda, chaaaaps, and granola bars into the back seat as he climbed into the passenger side. There weren’t any hotels nearby in this area, and even if there were, Steven hated driving in the rain almost as much as he hated running in it. 

( _Steven’s flip flops left footprints in the wet mud as he made his way through the forest, the rain slowing him down as he slipped every step. Every now and then his eyes flickered to his other hand which held the shards of his mentor-_ )

Steven still hadn’t gotten to fully talk to his therapist about what happened with Jasper. Bits and pieces were thrown in, but he tried his best to be as vague as possible. He’d gotten close to it, but each time he felt his cheeks go hot and he would quickly motion to change the topic. He wasn’t ready yet. 

Steven reclined his seat until it couldn’t go any further back, crossing his hands behind his head as a makeshift pillow and kicking his feet up on the dashboard. The rain beat down on the roof of the Dondai. Steven squeezed his eyelids shut, trying to ignore it until a crackling bolt of lightning was striking down nearby. 

( _Lightning struck from above, making Steven jump as he gaped at the shards littered in the rubble. He grabbed vigorously at the dirt, collecting the shards he saw; too frantic to actually double check to make sure he got them all. His pink form crumbled at the sight of what he’d done to his mentor, his friend-_ )

Steven jumped in his pseudo-bed. He shot his eyes open. The thunder lit up the corner of his eye a little ways away, hitting a nearby tree. Steven grabbed at his hair, breath quickening and heart racing rapidly. He squeezed his shut once more and tried to calm down only to be faced with another regretful memory.

( _Steven rounded the corner of the temple, shoving the hand which held the shards into his pocket. He bolted up the steps, tripping on every other stair while desperately clawing at the railing to pull himself upwards as fast as he could-_ )

Steven jumped at another bolt of lighting. He banged the top of his head on the hood of his car and groaned in frustration. 

“FUCK!” Steven yelled. He grabbed the top of his head and rubbed at the pain he was met with. The rain continued beating down, slithering down his windows and slapping the pavement as they fell. He curled in on himself and tried to get as small as possible to potentially block out the rain from even existing. 

The droplets became too loud in his ears. He couldn’t focus, he couldn’t sleep, not like this. Steven pulled harder at his hair, almost pulling strands out. He didn’t mean to, but the rain was so loud. Steven felt the hot pink growing on his cheeks, his skin heating up and ears ringing. He couldn’t breathe- He couldn’t sleep, he needs to stop it-

Steven groaned, scrambling his mind for the breathing techniques his therapist had introduced him to for moments like these. Moments where he couldn’t control himself- He breathed, grabbing his hands away from his hair and holding them together. He cleared his mind (or tried to) and positioned the imaginary balloon in his head. (One of the techniques, he remembered, had him envisioning a balloon that he could breathe along with.) 

Steven breathed again, the balloon in his mind following him and blowing up bigger as it filled with air. He exhaled, and the balloon followed, growing smaller as it released air. Inhale, balloon inflates, exhale, the air is released. Inhale. Exhale. 

Steven sighed as he finished breathing, somewhat calmed down by now. He grabbed his phone from his pocket and scrolled his apps to Blotify. He reached back into his pocket for his earbuds and clicked through his playlists, settling on one he named ‘when you’re in some shit’. Steven sighed again, uncurling his knees and relaxing against his makeshift-bed. The rain beat down harder on the hood of the Dondai. Steven turned the volume of his music louder and went to sleep. 

* * *

“Good morning, Steven!” His therapist greeted on the video call from his laptop. He set it on his dashboard. “I hoped you slept well.”

Steven rubbed at his neck, avoiding looking at the screen as he replied, “Uh, yeah… I-“ —he sighed. He was ready for this. He had to. “Listen, I-I’m ready to talk about Jasper.” 

**Author's Note:**

> steven havin a shit day and so am i god damn


End file.
